Tight Black Shirt, Very Bald / 4.12 What's With Robert?

Adam: Good morning, students and faculty of Lynbrook University.

As you know, each week you are required to watch an episode

of Everybody Loves Raymond.

This week's episode is season four, episode twelve, What's With Robert?

Uh, Marie begins to think that Robert is gay when he breaks up with Amy again.

We recommend watching the show as soon as possible in order to prepare

for what you're about to hear.

Also, uh, since our wives got everything at our respective divorces.

The other deans and I will be heading to IKEA today to get furniture

for our new shared apartment.

If any students would like to join us, the van leaves at 3

and the meatballs are on us.

Ooh, that was awesome.

Thank you so much, Alex, for coming to the sports bar with me.

That was like a great experience.

I can't believe the Mets won.

That was just awesome.

For my first game that I've ever watched on TV, it

Alex: was exhilarating.

It was awesome.

Yeah.

Mike really got me into these, uh, These MET people,

Adam: um, Yeah.

Salt of the Earth, and I do mean

Alex: salt.

Yes.

Uh, delicious.

Yum, yum, salt.

Uh, you know, normally I'm just interested in the other sort of MET.

As in, the gala.

But, uh, you know.

Adam: Did you get the invitation, by the way, this year?

I know you were really angling for an invitation to the MET gala.

You had your outfit picked out already,

Alex: even

Adam: though you hadn't been invited.

Did you get to wear

Alex: it?

I know.

I, I did get invited, but I actually sold it for Mets tickets.

Wow.

Because I am all about them baseball players now.

How do you feel about

Adam: the Metropolitan Museum of Art?

Alex: It's fine.

It's not really my main priority anymore.

Uh, you know, Mike's really onto something with base, this, this baseball thing.

It's fun and engaging and I like cheering with the boys in the bar.

That was camaraderie

Adam: was amazing.

I've never felt, I felt like,

Alex: uh,

Adam: let's say it at the same time.

Yeah.

I've never felt like such a part of

Alex: part of the part of the brothers.

Yes.

Yeah, me too.

It was exactly.

Adam: Uh, like that.

It was awesome.

And can you believe that place?

I mean, penny wings.

I've heard of quarters for wings, uh, but I ate a hundred wings.

Yeah.

That, that math checks out.

You were charged a dollar.

Did you catch what animal it was from?

Cause I just started, I went, you know, cause they have the

bobbing where you put your head in the sauce and you fish them out.

Well

Alex: they have, it could be anything because on the menu.

Instead of an asterisk super small next to wings.

It's a question mark wings.

Yes wings Uh, i'm envious of mike though because

Mike: guys what a great game, right?

Alex: Oh Mike, yeah, we were just talking about it.

Where were you?

Mike: Yeah, a lot of fun a lot of fun I was just settling on the tab.

Uh, someone ate like 400 of those penny wings I, I had to, I had to

fight the bill a little bit on that one, but you know, it was all right.

Yeah, no, you

Alex: must be so excited.

Like this is like the biggest win ever.

Right?

Mike: Yeah, well, yeah, it was pretty good.

You know, Diaz actually got together, locked it down, played the trumpet.

Good, good, good time all around.

It

Alex: was

Adam: absolutely awesome.

Played the trumpet.

Wait, Mike, now that I think about it and maybe I had sauce

in my eyes, but I don't know if I remember seeing you at Oh Hamlin's.

Mike: Oh yeah, you sure?

I was, I was there.

Adam: Wait, what's this wristband you've got on this, like, paper wristband?

Is this from, is this from Duke's, the jazz bar down on Catalpa?

Mike: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one.

Yeah, Duke's.

Yeah, you know, they got some pretty good, uh, pretty good time there.

Dude,

Adam: and they show, they show the Mets game there?

Mike: No, um, I mean, yeah, they, you know, uh, Duke is Duke's a fan.

He, he's got, they got it on the background.

It's a pretty good time.

Alex: Adam, come on.

This is Mike we're talking about.

He would never miss

Adam: a Mets game.

That would be crazy.

Mike: How about that

Adam: score though, Mike?

I mean, what a, what a series of numbers, right?

I mean, have you ever seen that specific combination before?

Mike: Uh, 6 2 3 double play?

Yeah, I mean, I've seen that before.

That happens.

Right, and I know what that It's not common.

I know

Adam: what that means.

I guess I was thinking of like the, like, 2 1 or whatever it would be.

Oh, oh, the actual score.

Yeah, the score.

Mike: Yeah, yeah, I mean, the score was 5 3.

That's not That's not that uncommon, that happens.

Yeah, you know.

Adam: Alex, wasn't, wasn't the score four to seven?

Uh,

Alex: I think so, Adam.

Mike: Yeah.

All right, well listen, uh, Duke's, Duke's taking me to go

check out the new saxophone, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna head out.

I'll, uh, talk to you guys later, okay?

Alex: Okay, bye Mike!

Adam: That was weird, Adam.

So Duke who owns the jazz bar is taking Mike to like guitar center

or something to look at a saxophone.

Is he like grooming Mike to like join the, the jazz band?

I'm so

Alex: jealous.

I mean, what's going on here?

That's weird.

Adam: Oh, because you were going to take Duke to the Met Gala, I forgot.

Alex: It was a dream of mine, but it ain't happening, I guess.

But yeah,

Adam: that is weird.

He got the score wrong.

I feel like Mike is always rattling off numbers at us, like, and I

assume that they're accurate scores about the Mets, and not just like

he has some sort of condition.

Well, I mean,

Alex: come on, Adam.

He might have just, uh, said the wrong things.

I mean What do you think is the alternative here?

Why would Mike be lying about, you know, watching the Mets game?

Dude's all about the Mets.

He's Mets crazy.

Adam: But now that I think about it, he did go out and buy that

new bedspread, the pinstripe one.

You don't think that Mike is.

Not a Mets fan anymore.

Alex: Adam, what are you implying?

It's 2024,

Adam: you can just say it.

I saw Mike go up to the Bronx, I think he's a Yankees fan.

I think Mike is secretly a Yankees fan and has been this whole time.

Oh my,

Alex: Adam!

How could you say I mean, nothing wrong with liking the Yankees, you know?

Adam: Not that there's anything wrong with that.

No, absolutely not.

I mean, I think that's great.

Swing both ways, as in swing righty

Alex: and lefty.

Yeah, that's fine.

I think, like, if you

Adam: love the game, that's what's important, you know?

Alex: Full support for anyone who likes the Yankees.

For sure.

But, when you know a guy His whole life for like in the Mets,

Adam: it's a little, it's,

Alex: it's kind of a little surprise.

It's bold for you to say that without really any substantial proof.

Let me say like, yes, sure.

Mike missed something up today and like.

Sure, like, even if he did watch the Yankees game, it's like,

you know, you could spend your whole life being a big Mets fan.

Doesn't mean you're not gonna watch a Yankees game every

once in a while, you know?

Adam: Yeah, I mean, and

Alex: I'm not gonna, like, I've checked the Yankees score once or twice.

Yeah, and

Adam: maybe, you know, it was on in the background somewhere, and

he just, he just checked it out.

You know, he noticed it, and then he went back to watching the Mets.

You don't think like he's into it, right?

Well, I guess there's only one way to find out, right?

We kind of have to Drill him?

After a fashion show.

I I was gonna say We could follow him.

And, and see where he's going.

I, I have a feeling that he's not really going saxophone shopping with Duke.

What, do you think he's going to Yankee Stadium.

Do something else?

Yeah, I think he's going to Yankee Stadium.

Alex: Adam, that, first of all, that's very pretty.

That's pretty, that's pretty, like, you know It's pretty, like,

not forward thinking of you.

Oh, yeah, no, you're right.

Yankees fans do more than go to Yankee Stadium.

Adam: I guess so, yeah.

Like, a Yankee

Alex: fan can do other things, you know?

They're normal people, just like Mets fans.

Adam: I guess, uh, you know, but, hey, I call it like I see it, you know?

Every Yankees fan that I know has gone to Yankee Stadium.

You're a real umpire.

That's where they go every Sunday night.

What?

Alex: You said you call it like

Adam: you see it.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I am taking the class.

I'm taking the class just because, just in case the college thing

doesn't work out, I did get recruited for the baseball team as an umpire.

I'm a walk on.

Okay, well I do know the umpire up there at Yankee Stadium, though,

and he told me that he saw a white loser up there in the stands watching

the bat the batting practice.

Well, that could only be Mike.

Probably in, it's, it can only be Mike.

Why don't we go up there?

Cause I know they're having night

Alex: practice

Adam: tonight.

Alex: Here's the thing though.

Like, you know, we, we've kind of like, you know, we've been around with Mike his

whole life about him being a Mets fan.

You know, if he has been a Yankees fan this whole time,

he's not just going to tell us.

We need to make sure that he understands that we support him as a Yankees fan.

Uh, maybe we can like, you know, Get some like Yankee attire and just be

like, Hey, yeah, we're not really into the Yankees, but you know, yeah, like,

you know, it was just Yankee month.

Um, yeah, Yankee pride, get some stuff.

Yeah.

We get some stuff

Adam: on sale.

Support him.

I saw some flags for sale.

We could put those up like some, some stickers.

We could do that.

Um, yeah.

You know, what if we got him like a copy of, uh, like the, um, that.

Everyone's Hero, that animated movie with the talking bat.

Remember

Alex: that?

Goddamn, I love that movie.

What a, what a triumphant win for Yankees fans was that, that movie.

That's

Adam: representation, you know.

You gotta be able to see yourself in it.

In the media that you consume.

Alex: Forgot about that movie, but yeah, no.

The Yankees fans really felt under represented in media before then, so.

Adam: So we, uh, we see a montage of Mike exiting the dorm building

and we are not far behind him.

We're kind of sneaking around bushes and shrubberies as we

follow Mike across campus.

Mike: Hey Duke, I mean, listen, I know that you, you know, You, you're,

you're not too confident, but I think the altos are pretty good.

The alto sax is pretty good.

I don't need, you need a whole new setup.

Adam: Mike.

We'll talk about this when we get here, when we get there.

Let's just enjoy the night air.

Yeah, there you go.

Take a deep breath in.

You want some of my clove cigarette?

Mike: If you could, yeah.

I only, I'm glad.

I only, I only smoke clove nowadays.

Adam: Yeah, all right, man.

Mike: Yeah.

Adam: That's groovy.

Mike: Dude, that can't be good.

It's not.

Adam: It's terrible for you.

Mike: Yeah.

Adam: I have one eighth of a lung.

Mike: Yeah?

Adam: And I can still blow that horn.

Mike: Oh, I'm aware.

Adam: You remember Bill Clinton on Arsenio?

Mike: I've heard of him.

Adam: He was blow sinkin I was backstage playin the, playin the sax for him.

Mike: Honestly, he was, if you're, if you're, if you look back on it,

his sax wasn't that impressive.

I don't know if I would brag about that.

Adam: You know what's impressive, though, is I made it sound realistic

by playing in an amateurish way, even though I'm a seasoned

professional, with Lindbergh, New York.

Mike: Yeah, there is actually a jazz club in Lindbergh, New York.

I know,

Adam: it's mine.

It's called Duke and it's on Catalpa.

Mike: Yeah, it's, well, there's the other one too that just recently opened up.

Adam: And what's that called, Mike?

Mike: Uh, it's on Atlanta Avenue, this is a, this is a, uh, man.

Okay, good,

Adam: I'm taking notes, I gotta, uh, somebody might drop a clove

cigarette in a puddle of gasoline at this place, uh, but just know

that I had nothing to do with it.

Mike: Oh yeah, it was, that's, that's a new one called Ooh La La.

Adam: French bastards.

Mike: Yeah, I know, they got like That's in the Baguette District.

It's in the Baguette District and they got the L's.

One of the L's is one of the things of a trumpet, one of the keys of the trumpet.

The other L is the baguette.

Adam: One of the keys of the trumpet.

Couldn't it just be the trumpet?

No.

Trumpets kind of L's.

This is, this is what the French don't get about jazz and they never have.

Is.

Trumpet is a perfectly good L. Listen, Mike, the reason I wanted

you to come with me tonight to Guitar Center, you know, I know the

manager, he'll let us in after hours.

It's very late.

I want to make that clear.

It's 2 a. m. I already did last call over at Duke's.

Mike: Yeah, well, you can't, you can't smoke a clove before two.

You taught me that the first night I met you.

Adam: Uh, remember the first night I met you?

Mike: Yeah.

Adam: That was an incredible night.

Mike: Ah,

2 0 1. I guess I'll just head home.

Hey, you, you're the owner of the club, right?

Adam: Mm, yeah.

Sorry, I was just wiping up the bar.

How can I help you?

You know, it is, we did do last call already, so

Mike: Yeah, no, that's fine, that's fine.

I just wanted to say hi.

Dude.

I'm sorry, I just, I noticed that sign over your bar.

It's, it's like, it's, it's, it is an It's Miller time.

Bar, uh, sign.

No, it's in it's Miller

Adam: Time bar, we did get it wrapped.

Mike: Yeah, but you crossed out the word Miller and wrote clove and

above it and wrote after 2am it's, and so it says it's after 2am it's

clove time because of the graffiti.

Adam: I'm glad that you can see that, I know it's kind of low light in here,

I was worried it wouldn't play, but

Mike: that's good.

Yeah, I was, you seem very invested in making sure people understand that

sign, yet you don't have Do you think

Adam: the little spotlights on the bottom that sort of illuminate the bar from

below, like the face of the bar, do you think that helps or is it distracting?

Mike: It's dramatic.

Adam: Okay, good.

Mike: Dramatic, I'll give you that.

Adam: That's good, I was going for that.

I

Mike: don't know if I can see the, the You know, the beer lists, but you know.

Adam: Well, we only have the one beer, so it's fine.

Mike: What's your one beer?

Adam: It is fermented cloves.

Mike: You got cloves beer, you got cloves beer and cloves cigarettes.

Adam: What is your question for me?

Sorry, I really have to, I gotta go.

I'm, I'm going to Guitar Center after this.

And I'm gonna go check out some saxophones.

Dude,

Mike: they sell saxophones at Guitar Center?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Adam: Sure.

Hey, what's your name?

Mike: I'm Mike.

Adam: I'm Duke.

Nice to

Mike: meet you,

Adam: Duke.

Nice to meet you.

Oh yeah, that was today, wasn't it?

Mike: Yeah, yeah, that really, it's a new friendship, us, the two of us.

Adam: Yeah, but you know, you just, you meet somebody and you just

know, you get a feeling, you know.

I noticed you, you noticed me.

Admittedly, I will say, you're pretty cut, which uh, is very impressive to me.

Mike: Yeah, I exclusively go to jazz school.

with my shirt off.

So I'm glad that you noticed it specifically for that reason.

Adam: Oh, you're not I thought you were wearing a translucent

shirt because you were so glisten

Mike: y. No.

No, I just have a lot of baby oil.

Adam: And where did you get that?

Mike: They were auctioning it off for real

Adam: cheap.

Did somebody maybe like, say, hold this for me?

Recently?

Mike: No, they were auctioning it off for real cheap.

I'm gonna go away for a while.

Like an aggressive amount of it, for real cheap.

I didn't know why, but they really wanted to get rid of this.

I

Adam: wanted to invite you to a party later, but I think it's been called off.

So we'll just go to guitar.

Yeah.

Here we are.

It's the little guitar center that they have on campus here.

I'm so glad this is an open campus that old jazz guys can

just wander on late at night.

Mike: Yeah, we, uh, as Mike and Duke walk into, uh, the Guitar Center, even

though it's 2:00 AM there are still a lot of, um, specifically white frat guys.

All of them are playing Wonder Wall at different times.

and, uh, all offbeat, all off.

Alex: Save.

Man.

Adam: It's gonna, you gotta be the baby.

Mike: God, this sucks.

Adam: Yeah.

This is just a hazard of coming in here, but nobody's got

Sopranos like these guys do.

Mike: Yeah, no kidding.

Adam: Hi, welcome to Guitar Center.

Can I help you?

Hey, uh, the, the crow flies at midnight.

Oh, that's cool.

What do you want?

I'm sorry, let me pull my sunglasses down.

You might not have caught my wink there.

The crow flies at midnight.

Alex: Oh, but it's two in the morning, so what does the crew do now?

Adam: Is Larry here?

Yeah, he's in the back.

Okay, can you bring Larry out here?

I have to tell him something.

Okay.

Alex: He walks back, and he comes back with a different hat.

Adam: What's going on?

I'm Larry.

The crow flies at midnight, Big Wink.

Oh, damn, that's crazy.

Alex: Come, come back with

Adam: me.

Let's, let's go.

Okay, I thought for a second you didn't recognize the code.

The password, but, okay.

They walk through the sewing guitar center.

There's the room with all the acoustic guitars, right?

And Larry pulls one of them slightly forward off of the, the hanging, uh,

The thing that it's hanging on, and that activates a secret door that

opens, uh, into a secret jazz club.

With a bunch of, uh, saxophones on the wall, it's smoky, people are jammin

Alex: So what can I interest you two fine gentlemen with today?

Adam: This is my friend Mike, and he's in the market for a saxophone.

Mike: Oh, I don't, I don't know if I can Fuckin sax like the big guys.

I'm just, I'm just here to be with a friend.

Alex: Well, if you're looking for a sax, we've got all, all the different kinds.

Yeah.

What are you thinking of?

How strong are you?

Can you handle like a tenor or a bass?

Mike: I can They make you strike me more as a soprano

Alex: sax guy.

Mike: I don't, I I really thought it was just tenor and alto.

Alright.

Yeah.

No, they have,

Alex: they have base saxophones.

They're fucking gigantic.

Are they?

You look it up.

Mike: Oh shit.

Alright.

I'll take a base ax.

Yeah, look up.

It's right there, Mike.

Oh my god.

That is massive.

Alex: Yeah.

Those aren't the ceiling pipes.

That is one base saxophone,

Mike: Oh, uh, I, okay.

I mean, I'm pretty, go on Mike.

Give

Adam: it a try.

Give the bass a try.

Get up on the ladder there.

Give it a try.

Mike: Mike climbs up, uh, to the, to the bass.

Uh

Adam: Hold on, everybody stop.

My friend Mike is gonna blow his first saxophone note.

Blow your load.

This is about 40, guys.

Goatee's fedoras all turn to look at Mike.

Mike: Mike takes a big breath, leans in, puts his lips on the

saxophone, and out the other end of the saxophone comes a perfect

saxophone cover of Wonderwall by Oasis.

Oh, that's pretty bad.

Adam: Come on.

Did you say that's pretty bad, Larry?

That was beautiful.

Alex: I'm just sick of this song, man.

Adam: I know, it must be hard for you.

Alex: It is.

I'm sad.

Adam: Larry!

But that was pretty well done.

That was very well done, Mike.

Come on down.

Come on down, Mike.

Here

Mike: we go.

Adam: I think, uh, gentlemen, and it is only gentlemen, we can all

agree that Mike has a gift, can't we?

I mean, this guy's got it.

Yeah, he's, he's got something.

Mike: I, I, yeah, I. Yeah.

I feel like, oh, there are three, three people are very excited for me.

Everyone

Adam: else went back to playing, you know, most of Jazz's mouth.

So they can't really call it out, but they smiled.

Mike: Oh, did they?

Oh yeah.

Okay.

Um, all right.

Well, I mean, listen, I, I just, okay.

I'll I'll take, I'll take the bass sax.

I'll take it.

Oh, you don't have

Adam: to take it, Mike.

I just, I wanted to, I don't want to pressure you here.

You know, that is a lot of money and you do look poor.

So I didn't want to.

Do you have financing, Larry?

Can he put like a down payment?

Mike: I do have about one paycheck's worth of work as various, uh, roles

of the Limbrook, uh, local government.

I still have to cash, so I can put that.

Alex: No way.

One paycheck's worth is just how much a bass saxophone costs.

Mike: Oh, really?

Alex: Yeah.

Mike: I'll take it.

Adam: Good.

Give me.

Gotta be honest Mike, I feel like you got swindled there But the important thing is

that you've got music in your life now.

What do you say you and me Get out of here and go to my studio

Mike: I would, I would love that.

Let's let's do it.

All right.

Are you going to, are you going to whiplash me Duke?

Is this, is this the start of something bad?

Adam: No, I'm not going to whiplash you.

I mean, I'm look, I don't suffer fools, but I'm not going to whiplash you.

Mike: It's just, just because I noticed you did comment on how cut I

am and I appreciate it, but you were also super jacked and also very bald.

Alex: Tight black shirt, very bald,

Mike: yep.

Yeah, you

Alex: do have a JK Simmons vibe to you.

Larry, thank you.

Mike: Yeah, thank you Larry.

Thank you for backing me up on this one.

Adam: Mike, let's go to the studio.

I'm not gonna JK Simmons you, it's gonna be fine.

Big wink.

Crow flies

Alex: up in there.

So, so, as, as they walk out of the club.

Guitar solo.

The Guitar Center, excuse me.

We pan to a bush where Adam and Alex are hiding, watching, uh, watching them go by.

Who

Adam: the hell is that?

Alex: I don't know, but he's got real Derek Jeter vibes to him.

He does kind of look like Jarek De Jarek De He does kind of look

like Jarek Deeter, doesn't he?

Wow, Adam, that's how I know you are so not into the Yankees.

I gotta be honest.

Uh,

Adam: I'm a little Yankee phobic, I'll be honest.

I know, and we're working on it, trust me.

No, I, I do want to apologize for that slur I used earlier.

So not acceptable in today's climate.

No, no, I was doing some very Early 2000s type of, like, Yankees

phobia is very not acceptable.

Well,

Alex: look, did you see that giant case Mike was carrying?

Yeah, what was that?

Was that like a It's gotta be like baseball bats.

Adam: It did look like it

Alex: was the size of 400 baseball bats.

Yeah, and like various Yankee equipment.

You think he's going up to,

Adam: maybe the Yankees asked him to bring all their baseball bats up to the Bronx

to Yankee Stadium for nighttime practice.

Oh my god.

No way.

Alex: Adam, I didn't think you were You think Mike is on

Adam: the Yankees?

Yes.

Alex: No way.

Dude, there's one thing thing to, I think he batts

Adam: for that team.

Alex: It's one way to, to batt for the Yankees.

It's another thing to bat for the Yankees.

Like, that's pretty cra.

We gotta keep follow, keep following him.

Adam: Keep.

Absolutely.

Okay.

Uh, we cut to a basement in Queens where, um, Mike is repeatedly playing.

Yes.

Mike: The repeating, playing Wonder Wall over and over again.

No, no, no, no.

Over again.

Adam: Not my tempo.

Listen, look, watch the baton.

Okay.

Watch the fucking baton, go.

Mike: No, fuck!

Oh, what the hell did I do over there?

Did you just throw a baton at me?

Adam: Yeah, next time it's gonna be a fucking cymbal.

Let's listen to the rhythm that I am laying down here.

Mike: It's tough because like, in the saxophone cover, the sax is

the guitar and the voice, and they both come in before the drums.

So how do I listen to your tempo?

I feel like I should be the one setting the tempo.

Watch

Adam: the baton.

One, two, three, four.

You know?

Mike: Not

Adam: my tempo.

Okay, I'm gonna throw an entire kick drum at you.

Get ready, here it comes.

Mike: Don't do it!

Adam: Remember, I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm trying to motivate you.

Mike: It feels like you're hurting me.

Adam: Okay, next time, I'm gonna shove this violin bow up your ass if you don't.

And I know it's not, you know, it's kind of, uh, weird to have

a violin in a jazz band, sure.

Granted.

But if you don't, if you fuck up again, I am gonna shove this up your ass.

Alright,

Mike: I, okay, look, I just, it feels like this is, you, you told me I was going

to be a great saxophone player, a great jazz musician, this is starting to feel

like this is a metaphor for the suffering that we do unnecessarily in order to,

in the pursuit of our, uh, inane art.

And I, I feel like I don't want to be a part of it anymore.

I just want to kind of jam on some tunes.

Adam: You have the talent.

But I need to break you down.

To build you up again.

So that you can harness that power.

Mike: I'm already built.

Why do you have to build me, break me down to build me back?

Adam: You are pretty built.

Why don't you try on that, uh, too small black t shirt that I got you?

Mike: Yeah?

Adam: Yeah.

Mike: I mean, oh, wow, this is really too small.

This is cutting off circulation to my forearms.

This is

Adam: Okay, now hold

Mike: still.

Hey, no, don't you dare.

Don't, no, don't.

Aw, come

Adam: on.

Nice and shiny.

Right up top.

Let me put a little, this is, uh, I call it bald butter.

It's my own recipe.

There

Mike: you go.

I have some baby oil here.

Uh,

Adam: I, I spent a lot of time getting all of the baby oil off of my property before

federal agents came by earlier this week.

We don't need to.

What?

Nothing, nothing.

Don't worry about it.

Mike: Dude, are you a felon?

I'm starting to feel like you're a bad guy.

Adam: I'm not a bad guy.

Look, you get invited to one party and suddenly everyone

has, everyone's up your ass.

Like this violin bow is gonna be.

Mike: What happened at the party?

Actually the baby

Adam: oil might come in useful for that.

Mike: Oh good god.

We cut back to outside.

We flash forward, I'm sorry, we flash forward about An hour or

two to outside with Adam and Alex.

Adam: What do you think's going on in there?

Alex: I see like a lot of banging, like maybe they're doing batting practice?

Adam: Yeah, you think they're doing indoor batting practice in this basement?

Yeah,

Alex: having like catch, game

Adam: of catch?

I keep I keep Sewing pinstripes?

I hear things like ricocheting in there, it's gotta be that.

Mike: Mike walks out the door.

As you guys notice, you see some blood dripping off of his fingertips.

And also his face, and he's still wearing the tourniquet

shirt and the, uh, he's bald now.

Alex: Is that Jarek Dieter?

He's not wearing a helmet or a Yankees hat, so.

Oh wait, that's Mike.

He looks terrible.

We should go confront him.

He looks

Adam: like Howie Mandel was in a horrible accident.

Alex: Yeah, or if Mr. Clean

Adam: was in an extremely horrible accident.

He does look even worse than Mr. Clean does now, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, should we go confront him?

Yeah, we gotta go tell him that we support him.

Ah, what a lovely night to go walking through Forest Hill Oh!

Today was gonna be Wait a second.

Mike, is that you?

Oh, I'm sorry, hey!

What are you doing walking around this neighborhood at 4am?

Oh, you know, stuff.

Alex: Mike, we have to tell you, we know.

We know.

Adam: And we support you.

We support you.

We love you just as much as we ever did.

But let's hold off on the hugging for a while.

Let me just pat your shoulder here.

Wow, that is very throbbing.

Are you okay?

Adam doesn't support your lifestyle.

I do!

It's just I don't want to talk about it.

We don't have to talk about this stuff.

I want to hear about it.

Mike: I, I really, I, I didn't think you guys would be okay with this.

I know that you, you know, really, you support this?

There's a reason I never brought you to Yeah, of course.

Adam: Mike, you're our

Alex: friend.

And you know, I could always just, uh, I, you know, even if

we're not on the same team, we'll still talk, you know, normally.

Adam: It's just Hey, we got you something.

It's a VHS copy of Everyone's Hero.

Mike: Okay, I thought we were on the same page, now I'm not so sure.

Adam: I know, it's surprising that we would support you this much, but we

just really think it's important for you to, you know, see yourself on tape.

Yeah,

Alex: so,

Adam: being represented.

And I don't mean what you did with Hulk Hogan.

I mean, like, in a positive way.

Mike: What did I do with Hulk Hogan?

You

Adam: know, the video that went around on TMZ, the whole thing.

Mike: Oh, yeah, I had kind of scrubbed that from my memory.

Um.

So, thanks for bringing that up again, actually.

This is already a really rough night.

Adam: Oh, am I bringing you back there?

Are you going back to that place?

A

Mike: little bit, a little bit.

We do a hard,

Adam: fast zoom in on Mike's iris and we go back to a mall in Minnesota in 2003.

I have a order for, uh, Mike A. Is there a brother here named Mike A?

Yeah,

Mike: yeah, that's me.

Hi,

Adam: come up here.

This is your pasta.

Um, thank you for coming to Hulk Hogan's a real restaurant that did exist.

Uh, I'm Hulk Hogan.

Uh, you can call me Terry.

Uh, as long as I'm behind the counter, I can be Terry.

Mike: Can I call you brother?

Adam: Of course, brother.

You can call me brother, brother.

Mike: Brother.

Like hugs.

Ah,

Adam: this is, this is really nice.

Hey, you wanna be in a video with me?

Yeah, sure.

Hulk Hogan picks up young Mike A. And who, by the way, is canonically 28.

Years old at least.

No, 40.

You would be 40 because you graduated college in, uh, 1986.

Mike: They still talk with the list.

Adam: Yeah.

Mike came out of the dentist at the mall and now he, and

he immediately ordered pasta.

Mike, uh, is picked up by Hulk Hogan.

Who throws him straight across the mall and Mike, this is,

this is the mall of America.

So Mike makes contact with the roller coaster that's in there.

30 people died.

And then we do a quick zoom back out of his iris.

Mike: He never treated, he never treated me like a brother.

I, okay, so, oh, okay, I'm sorry, I had a flashback there for a second.

What do you think is happening here?

Adam: Mike, you're a Yankees fan.

Mike: I'm a what?

No, hold on.

Adam: No, we're gonna And I promise I won't call you what I did the last

time I talked about Yankees fans.

I've learned my lesson.

Mike: What exactly did you call me?

The last time, I want you to say it in excruciating, hit every consonant

of what you called me the last time we were talking about Yankees fans.

Adam: We cut to

We cut to, uh, later the three of us are sitting down and watching

everybody's, everyone's hero on the couch in the dorm room.

Mike: You know, I gotta be honest.

Underrated film, but again, I, I need to emphasize we are not, I'm not,

like, look, I'm not a Yankees fan.

Alex: Underrated like it's a 4 out of 10 instead of a 10.

Yeah,

Adam: correct.

Alex: Yeah.

Are there other

Adam: movies about the Yankees, Mike?

I mean, you would know as a super fan.

Alex: I know there's all, I know there's all those, like, you know, act, like

those people, you know, trying to stop Yankees fans from appearing in You

know, any non, like, you know, just any, like, normal, like, regular material.

I know,

Adam: like, all the sports almanacs are getting banned in libraries across

the country, but I just want you to know that that's not gonna happen here.

We're gonna support you.

Alex: And like, even someone like you, who may have started as a Mets fan

and then transitioned to a Yankees fan, Uh, we validate and support

your, you know, it can't be easy.

Mike: I need to say, again, the first of all, even with the recent pushes

by the, by George Steinbrenner to make Yankees movies more mainstream.

Uh, I, I, there really aren't a lot, you know, like, I mean, Major League

follows the, follows the Cleveland Indians before the name got changed.

Which

Adam: you're really mad about, right?

Mike: Yeah, of course.

Rookie of the Year follows the, the, the guy plays for the Chicago Cubs.

Oh,

Adam: is that the child with the, what's the one with the kid who has the arm?

Yeah, that's Rookie of the Year.

Rookie of the

Mike: Year.

He plays for the Cubs.

Adam: What's the natural?

Is the natural baseball?

Mike: Natural is baseball, but I'm I don't think he plays for the I

thought he played for the Rays.

I don't think he played Or at that point, the Devil Rays.

I don't think he

Adam: Is the Babe Ruth movie called Babe, or Babe Ruth, or the Babe Ruth story?

This is John Goodman.

Mike: The, uh, the Babe is about a pig.

Um,

Adam: Yeah,

Mike: I don't think there is a Babe Ruth movie.

If there is, I'm not aware of it.

But that's, that's, that's neither here nor there.

There is,

Adam: it's called The Babe and it stars John.

I'm

Mike: not a Yankees fan.

I'm not a Yankees

Adam: fan.

Mike: Okay?

Not a Yankees fan.

Yankees are always the bad guys.

Oh my.

I'm Superman's

Adam: Like, it's okay.

You don't need this internalized Yankee phobia.

Like, we, we accept you.

And, and we're not gonna Dude, it's totally fine.

You know, out you to everyone.

Like, you come out at your own pace.

But like, we just want This is a safe space for you to live

authentically as yourself.

Mike: I realized that with my very tight shirt, my very bald head, and

it's kind of swollen now because of the abuse that I took earlier today.

I realize I look like Brett Gardner, but I promise you that is not what I'm

going for in any sense of the word.

I'm really not.

I'm still a Mets fan through and through.

I'm, I'm, I freaking, Mike picks up a bat and starts banging it

on the ceiling for emphasis.

Every single word.

I swear I'm a Mets fan.

Alex: Adam, he's, he's worried.

You're not going to accept him.

I know.

Come here, Mike.

Mike, Mike, it's okay.

Remember what happened with Adam and the Red Sox a few years back?

Like he gets it.

Adam: Yeah.

When I left my, uh, I had a load of whites and I put a red t shirt in it.

I give Mike a big hug, but the compression of his shirt is such that

he, he pops, and, uh, his, he starts, like, spurting blood from his, um, eyes

and ears, um, and he kind of deflates until he looks like regular Mike again.

Mike: I don't know what it is.

But every episode of this show we end up doing something really

gross and I just I just want to be a Mets fan I don't know man.

Adam: Okay, Mike.

Mike: Maybe I am maybe I am a Yankees You know, I I never really considered

it before but every time I play Sonic I only ever get 27 rings As much

as I hate to admit it, Aaron Judge is a really good baseball player.

Juan Soto is a generational talent.

They have a lot of fun players on their team.

It's, it's crazy.

Every year, I just wish I had more money to spend on obnoxiously good players that

are, that are going into the Hall of Fame.

And you know what?

I even did steroids.

Just like Roger Clemens.

Adam: Oh, that's why you were so swole, and cut, and built.

Yeah.

Ah.

Oh, is that what these are?

I thought these were just like, you know, the dick pills that you usually take.

Mike: No, those are over there.

Adam: Oh, okay.

And

Mike: you see those come less.

Adam: Yeah.

Mike: Yeah, that was my problem.

It was too much.

Adam: I think you're due for one.

So just, there you go.

Um, let me get you a glass of, you only drink hot milk with these, right?

Mike: I actually just take them dry.

Adam: Well, I mean, that's the goal, right?

Mike: Yeah, there you go, babe.

Uh, listen, okay.

Adam: What?

Did you call me babe?

Mike: I did.

And I'm like He is a Yankees fan.

Shut up.

He roofed you.

I'm not.

Alex: Okay?

Shut up.

No.

It's, it's canon.

Oh, no, Mike.

Oh, wow.

Adam: No.

Mike, that's a big step.

I mean, I don't feel that way about you.

Like, I I Mike.

Mike.

You know, I like the Mets, I saw the Mets walking down the street and I ran into a

wall, so it's, it just can't be, but like I support you and I think that's great.

Mike: You saw the Mets walking down the street?

Adam: Yeah.

Mike: Who was it?

It

Adam: was Keith Hernandez.

Mike: Oh yeah?

Name two others.

Adam: Well, okay, so it was Keith Hernandez, it was Mr.

Met, and it was Jan Met, his wife.

So that Mrs. Met does

Mike: not have a first name.

Excuse you.

Yeah,

Adam: you and I have had this conversation before

Her name is Jan met and she's an event planner Google.

Oh, that's exactly what it what it is.

Mike: I apologize Okay.

Well, first of all Not a Mets fan.

I'm getting abused by a crazy musician.

Not a Mets fan.

No, wait, I know, not Yankees.

Okay, well, he

Adam: admitted.

Mike: Not a Yankees fan.

Well, it's confirmed.

Okay, well, Mike, just,

Adam: just get to the top of that Freudian slide and slip away.

Just let it all go.

Be honest.

Mike: Let's make this clear.

I am not a Yankees fan, I am a Mets fan, I am just being abused

by a musician that wants me to be a great, uh, all time great guy.

Okay?

Oh,

Alex: so like a normal

Mike: Wednesday?

Yeah, normal Wednesday.

Normal Wednesday.

Uh, probably illegal, but that's, that's the reality that

I'm dealing with here, okay?

Picked a base.

Why do

Adam: you smell like clove cigarettes?

Mike: Because he says that all the great smoked cloves and it looks really cool.

Adam: Well, that is true.

Mike: Yeah.

Adam: Both of those things.

Mike: Charlie Parker, smoked Clove.

Adam: Louis Armstrong, duke Ellington, felonious Monk, uh, Wayne Shorter.

Mm-hmm . Uh, bill Evans.

Mm-hmm . Loved to clove.

All, all smoke cloves, Cannonball Adderley.

Mm hmm jelly roll morton.

Mike: Yeah.

Yeah, I would put jelly roll as one of the greats kingfish smoke cloves

Adam: kingfish Yes

Mike: both the The

Adam: baby king,

Mike: king of the fish and the musician, kingfish, both of them smoke clothes.

Absolutely.

Adam: I did see Kingfish, the one that we know playing at Dukes, and then I tried

to go up to him, but he just jumped into the, a glass of water and disappeared.

Mike: Yeah, no, he's a bit of an asshole, but Ma,

Adam: was he good?

That guy knows how to play the xlo.

Mike: Anyway, I,

Adam: anyway, you're a Yankees fan.

I'm still

Mike: a Mets fan still.

I still have 86 and 69 tattooed on my, on, on my two nipples.

I got bad news for you, Mike.

Adam: Have you looked at your nipples in the mirror lately?

Mike: No, what?

Adam: They're both 69.

Mike: Oh, thank God.

Oh, for a second.

I was so concerned.

I thought I was going to have, you know, one of those instances where

I take my shirt off and I, instead of the two nipples, I have twenty

seven random, uh, twenty seven U's tattooed up and down my, my ribcage.

I was so deeply worried about that.

Adam: Twenty seven U's?

Mike: Well, the Yankees won the World Series twenty seven times,

so I thought it was gonna be like, you know, Going back to 2009, 2000,

Adam: 1998, 1997,

Mike: what?

Adam: Yeah, that's on your back.

I just don't know what that means.

How did this get here?

Uh, I assume you went into a tattoo parlor and said I'm a huge

Yankees fan, give me 27 years.

There's room for more.

Mike: I don't know if there is.

If that's what

Adam: you're concerned about.

I

Mike: don't know if there is.

Adam: I do like how they kind of like, it starts as like neat rows and then

it sort of like goes down into like a point and then, you know, I assume it's

gonna like go down through the crack.

Mike: Yeah, when they, that's, that's the goal.

That's the, I mean, no, I can't.

That's the goal.

Oh, that's great.

Adam: No, I support that.

I gotta

Mike: get out of here.

I gotta get out of here.

I gotta.

Adam: No, Mike, you can't.

You've gotta stay.

Mike: Mike sprints out of the room, throws the door open, and just starts

tearing down the walls as he goes by.

No, it's not true!

Tearing

Adam: down the walls?

Yeah, he's taking chunks of drywall out of the dorm hallway.

Steroids.

Mike: Mike,

Adam: come back!

Mike: Steroids.

The steroids are, uh, put the muscle right back into his arm.

He's leaving a trail of baby oil as he goes.

Alex: Goddamn.

Adam: Wow.

There he goes.

There he goes, the biggest Yankees fan I ever knew.

No!

Yeah.

So Can we go to sleep and then maybe in the morning, I don't

know, record the podcast?

It is like 6 in the morning.

We watched all of Everyone's Hero, the director's cut.

Alex: So yeah, timeline wise, it's about, yeah, 6 9, and uh, we'll reconvene.

Alright.

Coffee?

Ah, extra sugar.

Adam: Okay, here you go.

Just say when.

Guys!

Hold on, Mike.

Alex: Oh, okay.

Oh, that one's out of sugar here.

Oh, thanks.

Take this one.

Adam: This one's running low.

Should I sub in sweet and low, or?

When?

Do you want a spoon?

Can I have some cream?

Oh, cream.

Okay, yeah.

Mike: I have things to say, okay.

Adam: Mike, please.

Mike, excuse us.

Alex: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee.

Adam: Read the mug, Mike.

Yeah.

Okay.

I know it's hard to with everything overflowing, but read the mug.

Yeah.

Okay, that's good.

Alex: Here's your spoon.

Are

Mike: you guys gonna take care of the puddle, or?

Alex: Don't talk to me until after I've had my coffee.

Do you want a coffee?

Mike: No, I'm good.

Um,

Alex: we're outta sugar

. Mike: Is there any cream left?

I'll just have like straight straight if you got it.

Adam: Oh, uh, no sir. There might be a little no.

I mean, if you can get it off the floor.

Mike: No, that's okay.

I, um,

Adam: what's up?

Mike: I did a night of reflection if given up the saxophone.

I went to Yankee Stadium to do a night of meditation to see where my heart lied.

I was visited by the ghost of George Steinbrenner, Mickey Mantle,

Lou Gehrig, and George Costanza.

Alex: Goddammit, and you weren't

Mike: recording?

I wasn't recording.

They

Adam: gave you your own phone so that you could record on the go.

Mike: It felt like a bad time.

Anyway.

Okay.

They all picked up baseball bats and started beating me over the head.

I think I'm back with the Mets.

Because afterwards, I went to City Field, Keith Hernandez was there,

and he gave me a line of cocaine.

So, we're So no

Adam: coffee.

No coffee.

Mike: No coffee.

Adam: Well, the good news is all those bruises on your head kind of

match your hairline perfectly, so it's like you never got that haircut.

Mike: Yep.

Famously, famously short to the skull.

Adam: So You're a Yankees fan, and we accept you, and that's great.

Mike, we're all set up here.

I think the equipment should be fine.

It's, uh, a little wet from the coffee and the milk and etc, but what do you

say we start recording the podcast?

Hmm?

Yeah, enough of your bullshit.

Mike: I mean, I feel like I have I had a spiritual awakening, but

yeah, sure, we can, we can go.

Adam: I know it's it's exciting when you sort of realize about yourself that

you're a Yankees fan and you come out and that's great and I support that.

But we can't really like make the show about that because that might

alienate like the Midwest and stuff.

You know, most of our listeners are in Iowa, Mike.

Mike: Is that true?

Adam: Yes.

Welcome back to the Barone Zone.

It's time to talk about season four, episode 12, What's With Robert?

Marie begins to think that Robert is gay when he breaks up with Amy again.

A touchy subject, fellows.

Uh, when the 90s collectively takes on, um, anything other than

straight white male problems.

Um, what did we think of this episode overall?

So.

Immediately,

Alex: my thoughts are, overall, I was expecting it to be worse

and more offensive than it was.

It was not perfect.

It was not nearly as bad as I was getting ready for when I

saw where the episode was going.

I think there were some moments that were actually pretty

progressive, especially for the time.

So I think that's good.

There's not too much I can clarify on, because I, myself, I'm not

particularly, you know, uh, experienced or knowledgeable on the field.

Mike: That is the single most awkward way you could have

possibly fucking phrased that.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Alex.

I just, I know that we typically let everybody go off on their own

little monologues here, but just, I am not particularly experienced

in the gay is the worst way that you could have ever used me.

Alex: It's, it's, I mean, I'm sorry.

I've, I'm so sorry, but like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm, I do, you're straight.

You don't know.

Yeah.

I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a gay person.

I'm not in the LGBT community, although I am an ally.

Yeah.

Uh, but you know, glad you insisted.

Mike: Glad you, glad you mentioned that.

That's what the A is for.

Alex: No, I, I am, I'm saying that because I want you to know there's no ill will in

the stupid shit that I accidentally say.

Yeah.

Hi, Adam, you came back at the best time.

I

Adam: wasn't even gone.

I, I was here the whole time.

Mike: Um, so besides, besides that, uh, that, that, that amazing, uh,

listen, I feel like before we discuss this episode, we need to, um, I'm

sure blow everybody's minds here.

We here at the Brode zone are indeed three.

White straight men with a podcast.

I know that's revolutionary.

I know that that you know, it's hard I'm breaking but it is our reality.

And yeah, we're still gonna talk about this episode anyway, so

Alex: Yeah, maybe you just cut maybe just cut what I said and just you

Adam: know

Alex: Did you say

Mike: I believe Alex,

Alex: I, I just, I mentioned that I was not particularly experienced in gay.

Well,

Adam: and that's okay.

Mike: That is, that is okay.

Yes, it is.

It's fine.

We accept that.

The A stands for ally.

Um, and so.

In

Adam: Alex?

No.

Ally.

Lesbian.

Experienced?

X for no.

X as in, yeah.

X as in, uh, family feud.

Mike: Yeah.

Um, but yeah, I thought that, so I will, I will agree.

I thought that overall this episode went in a direction that I, first of

all, I didn't read the description because why would I be prepared for

an episode that I'm going to watch?

Um, and so I was also kind of like, oh geez, when they, when they started

going down this path, I really thought though that as awkward as it was, The

only person that actually did anything like Deeply problematic or said anything

deeply problematic was Frank, who

Adam: And that was kind of the point of his character.

Exactly, that's his

Mike: character.

I thought that overall was like Frank

Adam: was very much the Archie Bunker of this episode, where we're looking

at his ignorance through, you know

Alex: I love what Marie said where it was like, like when they're

talking about their lesbian friends, it was like, Frank was mean to

them, but he's a dick to everyone.

Adam: He treats them the same as everyone else.

Mike: My favorite comment on that thing is just, how many fucking Meatballs.

Did Midge eat?

They don't think of her as, as, as what's her face's girlfriend.

They think of her as They think of her

Adam: as that blue hair that ate all the meatballs.

That

Mike: ate all the meatballs.

Adam: Yeah.

I like the line of Ray then going like, You have no problem with this?

Uh, and Marie being like, It would have been nice if she left some

meatballs for the other guests.

But I have no problem with the gay people.

Mike: What I just learned is Midge sucks, actually.

If she ate all the meatballs, yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a Mitch,

Adam: it sounds like Mitch came in hot, uh, Frida has the good graces

to invite her, and Mitch immediately beelines for what I assume is just loose

meatballs, and takes a spoon to it.

Big spoon.

Mike: Yeah.

Takes the big

Adam: spoon off the wall, right in the bowl.

Mike: Oh, you think it was one big gulp of the meatballs?

Adam: I think, uh, I'm picturing, okay, like a salad bowl full of meatballs.

No sauces, no nothing.

Oh, I was imagining sauce.

And she just junk, junk, like maybe three scoops.

Taste dizzy.

Swallows them like a snake.

Mike: Like a snake?

Oh,

Adam: absolutely.

Mike: Yeah.

So I, yeah, I mean, I think, I thought Marie's

Adam: second cousin.

Not her friend, by the way.

Mike: Yes, her second cousin.

I,

Adam: I

Alex: would say overall.

Um, like even looking past the contents of the episodes specifics, I think this

is a very generic episode of Everybody Loves Grand, where the plot structure is

something we have seen dozens of times at this point, where a little comment

gets brought back to Marie and Frank, and then all hell gets loose, and then

everyone else just kind of deals with it.

Adam: I think so.

I think we even got like, Ray and Debra in bed talking about the

issue and then we go over to Marie and Frank's and then, you know.

I

Alex: feel like we've seen the scene where Ray's sitting in the kitchen, he

makes a passing comment about something and then Marie's like, What dear?

And then Ray brings it up and then they make a huge fucking deal out of it.

Yeah.

Mike: It is, it is, you're right.

It is absolutely the, the formula.

Um, I actually really want to rewatch this episode to the point

where I am not like, Being like, oh shit, what are they going to say?

Because the entire time that I was watching this episode, I was like, okay,

whatever they show, I'm going to have to talk about while I'm being recorded.

So what the fuck are they going to make me talk about?

Yeah,

Adam: you have to hide your real feelings, which we hear off mic

about, you know, the LGBTQ community.

Yeah,

Mike: correct.

Adam: Absolutely.

Mike: Yeah.

They just, which

Adam: we all know what they are, which is that you're jealous.

Mike: I, the acronym is so good and it should be a sandwich.

That's all.

I mean to say let's,

Adam: which I think you are.

The, if, if there should be a sandwich, I think you're the wrong one to make it.

And you should stop trying.

Mike: Lettuce, bacon, tomato.

I just, it's, it's a, the, a good combo.

Guacamole.

It feels cooked.

Lettuce is

Adam: guacamole.

Bacon, tomato, ki Yeah.

Mike: Quail

Adam: queso.

Oh, even better.

Whoa, that's a wet sandwich.

Mike: It's a wet sandwich.

It's a burrito.

You need the, you need the, the beef stick.

Forget bacon, the beef stick's for burrito.

We're at Chipotle.

Adam: Um, yeah.

Is a burrito a sandwich?

That could be a whole podcast unto itself.

Mike: Actually, no, it's not.

I take it back.

Burrito's not a sandwich.

Burrito's a calzone.

Adam: Absolutely.

Um, yes.

I, I too was concerned about this episode as we're watching it,

like where are they gonna go?

We know it's the 90s, we're gonna judge it by today's standards, against which,

you know, it is no paragon of Um, you know, sensitivity or yeah, from like

a present perspective, there are some things that we can criticize about it.

It really leans into stereotypes.

Um, now the characters are expressing these stereotypes, so maybe the writer

is bringing these in to highlight the absurdity of, you know, Amy

saying, Robert color coordinates his clothes and he dances well and he's

attached to his mother, ergo he's gay.

So there, there's some of that too, but a lot of the humor in the episode does

come from playing on those stereotypes.

Um, however, I think it could have been a lot worse.

We're clearly meant to make fun of Frank's intolerance where, you know, I

can't speak for everyone in the studio audience because a lot of them, I think

probably were laughing at haha gay.

Um, but I think it was written from a good, if not.

You know.

A more tolerant position than what we may have expected.

Yeah, I think the intention was good.

We would, it would just be approached differently now, which is fine.

Mike: I also want to say.

Yes, honestly,

Adam: not, not bad for the 90s.

I would

Mike: be fully shocked and actually taken aback if Everybody

Loves Raymond made this episode.

about allyship and like did an actual like treated like a like and a very

special episode psa about here's how you support your possibly gay brother

i would be i would be just straight up turned off by that not because like hey

Alex: i think this was a Huge missed opportunity.

And Adam was talking about this earlier, uh, off mic, um, how, how they missed the

chance to like, total, like, like make a cliffhanger and actually have Robert

come out as gay and moving forward.

He is.

He is gay.

I would, I'd kind of be into that.

We

Adam: know sitcoms are afraid to change the like fundamental characterizations

that we've grown to become familiar with over the past four seasons, but what an

exhilarating new engine for the show.

If Robert comes out.

He has to navigate the family.

He's navigating a new world at work.

You know, we, we hear about in this episode, the sergeant on his squad

who went to Hawaii, fell in love with a boogie board salesman, and now

they run a, uh, a gift shop on Maui.

Is that what it says?

Yeah, that was what they said.

Like that.

Yeah.

Um.

What an incredible twist that could have been.

Season 10, my pitch if Paramount Plus is listening, would be, we see Robert,

you know, he and Amy are getting divorced because Robert is finally

realizing that he's gay and he's living his golden years authentically.

I think that would be great.

Ray is dead in my version.

Ray has, so sort of the impetus of the, of the season is Ray commits suicide.

Um, and everyone has to pick up the pieces.

Alex: Yeah.

Just like everybody loves Robert.

Adam: Emphasis on everybody.

Alex: Everybody loves Robert, comma, but Robert only likes the dudes.

No, I was gonna say,

Mike: are we making Robert pan in this one, or, okay.

Adam: I could see that.

Robert loves everyone.

Robert loves everyone.

I think that would be good.

Let's talk about This, uh, this episode came out on January 10th,

2000, making this the first episode of everybody loves Raymond to

be released in the 21st century.

Post

Mike: Y2K,

Adam: they survived Y2K and we're like, let's give it nine days.

And then they shipped the episode and it was, it really.

Helped people make peace with that.

Do you remember why 2k?

Mike: I do remember why 2k very very well.

I was very worried about it I sold all my stock.

I still have gold bars in my bed.

I've not gotten a good night's sleep in 24 years

Adam: Yeah, I was gonna say like usually people put a mattress on top of them

But you're just you've got bed frame and then not honestly Mike not enough

gold bars for What you're trying to do.

I've noticed how you sort of have them, you've got about seven and you've got

them kind of laid out as like a stick man and you sleep on top of it like that.

Mike: That's enough.

So I sleep on my own money.

What's the problem?

Adam: Well, it can't be good for your back.

Mike: Oh yeah.

Take me to a chiropractor, see if they find a singular problem.

Adam: Chiropractors are bullshit, man.

Mike: Damn right.

One told me that I shouldn't lie on gold, and I was like, fuck you.

Adam: Beautiful.

Beautiful.

But the impetus of this episode is that Amy and Robert break up because

Robert gives her a small velvet box that has a pearl necklace in

it instead of an engagement ring.

He can't commit.

He says, it's not you, it's me.

And that makes Deborah and Amy speculate that, uh, Ray is, that Robert is gay.

Um, Amy has this thing of, They become gay after going out with me.

I turn them.

I'm the spatula.

And I'm

Mike: not gonna lie.

Yeah, not Not like woke or whatever.

Funny concept.

I, I don't know why.

It made, it made me chuckle.

Adam: Oh, there's another.

Folks, I just had to cut five minutes out of the show about Mike

complaining about the woke mind virus.

Believe me, if you want to hear it, it's in the Baroness zone.

Mike: Leave it in, I have a podcast, I have the first amendment

right to speech, you're not going to take that away from me.

The

Adam: first amendment is not, you get to have a podcast, I know it seems like that.

Mike: Yes it is, yes it is.

Adam: Um, but no, Amy thinks that, uh, she turns these guys gay.

I think this is a similar thing, so like on friends, Robert Uh, Ross, his

wife, realizes that she's gay while she's with Ross, and then divorces him.

I feel like this is something that people were very paranoid about in the 90s.

Mike: Ooh, interesting.

I guess I make sense as to why it would be, because, yeah, it's

still in the midst of everything.

That didn't process with me, but yeah, I can see how that would

Adam: be.

I mean, I guess it's, uh, It's a concern that like you can be so terrible that you

make somebody think about like the other relationships that they could have and

then they reflect on what they want and then they arrive at, you know, maybe my

sexuality isn't what I thought it was.

Mike: I could see that.

Adam: I wouldn't frame it as the spatula, I would, I would say something

else, like um, the, like tongs, you pick them up and, and you put them in

the salad bowl of their own destiny.

I don't know, you got anything better?

Salad bowl of destiny.

Mike: No, but I feel like that's a worse analogy than the spatula actually there is

Adam: a zester Take off the rind and reveal the fruit within now.

We shouldn't say that

Mike: Keep it in

Adam: Sorry, I didn't realize I ended up there along with

all of you it was a mistake Uh, What did you think of the line?

Sorry, sorry.

So Debra, when Ray and Debra are in bed, Debra is regretful of fixing

Amy and Robert up and she says, you know what I don't understand?

Ray says, that when I kiss your neck, I'm not checking for tics.

The audience loved that.

They thought that was fucking hilarious.

I thought it was okay.

I thought it was okay.

Yeah, I thought It was fine.

Mike: Not, not, not his best I don't get laid joke.

Adam: Ray

Alex: Yeah, they love when Ray gets denied.

Yeah,

Adam: it's, it's, they gotta get something out of it.

Alex: They feed

Adam: off of it.

I don't think, I think the Ray wanting to have sex and not getting to have

sex is starting to get old for me.

Oh, it took four seasons to get

Mike: there?

Adam: It took four seasons because it was sort of like sprinkled in

before and now I feel like it's becoming a more frequent thing.

Mike: I have also noticed Unlike

Adam: Ray and Debra having sex.

Mike: Ayo!

Adam: Absolutely.

Um,

Mike: I've also noticed that the law, that it seems like you gotta get one of

those jokes in every single time they are in bed together now, and it did

not always, it was not always that way.

Adam: Yeah.

Mike: It's just, it's just lazy.

Yeah.

Adam: It's easy.

It's easy.

They're, this is, you know, uh, a shortcut for them to, like, get

the characters that we are familiar with, get them doing the things

that we're familiar with them doing.

Alex: Honestly, I blame the audience.

You know?

Yeah.

If you, if like.

If, like, that's a winner every time, why would you not do it?

Adam: I wonder what it's like to do a show in front of a live audience

because those people are not seeing every show in order like we are.

They're seeing the show that they're there for.

They're pumped up.

They're ready to laugh.

So these, like, trends that we complain about are not their

experience and so that's why their reaction to it is so strong.

They're kind, a lot of them are probably hearing these types of jokes

from this cast for the first time.

I bet there are people in the studio audience who don't

even know what the show is.

They're just, you know, they get free tickets to it and they show up.

Um, but when Frank, uh, When Ray comes over to Frank and Marie's, Frank is, I

wrote, Frank is jerking it to the obits.

He's like getting off on all the people he's outlived.

Um, have you thought about what's going to be in your obituary?

Do you want it to mention this podcast?

And where do you want people to send flowers?

Mike: I really hope that I have done more in my life than this podcast for

people to write about, but we'll see.

Adam: Even just at the end, he also hosted, uh, the Barone Zone.

Available wherever you find podcasts.

Hosted

Alex: is a strong word.

Mike: When I die, I want everybody to send as many flowers as you

can afford to Adam Rudy's house.

Just destroy his mailbox with flowers.

That would be great.

Adam: Destroy my mailbox with flowers.

Good band name.

Band name?

Alex: Destroy my mailbox?

With flowers.

Adam: Or mailbox with flower just flowers.

Just flowers.

Mike: We are flowers.

That is a good band name.

One, two, three, four.

That's a good band name.

Adam: I think it would be like mellow folk.

I wouldn't go Nope.

Mike: I got it.

I got it.

Adam: Heavy metal death metal.

Mike: Yeah.

Adam: Okay, you get just time and place I'll show up with my seven string

bass and we can get deep and muddy.

Yum.

Yeah, I hope my obituary doesn't mention this podcast either, but if it does

Just direct any instead of in lieu of flowers just send donations to the

Baroness zonis if you could That's what my descendants would want Frank calls Ray

gay for cleaning Uh, Ray tells him that he might offend people by talking like

that and then they have this exchange about Frank calling people Nancy.

And they go back and forth.

When you say Nancy, what are you implying?

That your name should be Nancy.

And when you say Nancy, that's your word for gay.

And then Frank, very well.

And you mean that as an insult?

Yes, I believe I do.

Uh, that's not nice to gay people.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Mary it's not as as Marie points out.

It's not really worth trying to Get Frank to understand.

Mike: I know I'm jumping ahead in your notes.

I'm so sorry

Adam: No, please do

Mike: are we gonna talk about how Frank might have been?

sexually assaulted

Adam: That's what I was gonna get to.

Yeah, like,

Mike: in a problematic, yeah, thing.

Frank,

Adam: I wrote, this is what I wrote, Frank fucked a man in Korea,

parentheses, dubious consent.

So, so apparently, That is,

Mike: that is kind of what I want to talk about, yeah.

During

Adam: the Korean War, Frank was in a foxhole with, uh, his sergeant, I guess?

Yeah, his

Mike: superior officer.

Adam: He was, they were cold or something, and their coats were

insufficient, as Frank says.

And then, this is all, like, fine, like, and hopefully, we're thinking, you know,

this was a good experience for Frank.

Um, until, Frank says, he was my superior officer, there's nothing I could do.

And that, is, that, is concerning.

Mike: Oh, I just wanted to bring it up.

That just came out of nowhere and did not, was not where I

thought this episode was going.

Adam: I think it, it reveals a lot about Frank's, uh, attitude is that he has

this trauma that he's never Dealed with, he refuses to speak about it, you know?

He's

Mike: talked a lot about the violence of Korea with less PTSD

than this particular moment.

So then Robert comes in.

I thought it was kind of, you know, Robert, the one time he doesn't say

it, they are indeed talking about him.

And, uh, Marie immediately hugs him and says we love you no matter what,

even if you're gay, which has gotta be, gotta be a tough day for Robert.

He broke up with his girlfriend and now his mom's calling him gay.

It's just, just a rough day all around for this one.

Well, this

Adam: is at least one day after that happened, so he's probably over it.

Yeah, probably.

Oh

Mike: yeah?

You get over, you get over breakups of girl, of Of girl?

Of girl of over two years.

Break up one day.

24 hours is all you need to get your head back on straight, huh?

Adam: Your question is sorry.

You get over breakup of girl of over one

Alex: day?

Mike try save time.

Running low on time in podcast.

Mike use only basic word.

Adam: We've heard that Robert and Amy have broken up a bunch of times.

I'm sure he's taken this, you know, I'm sure it's difficult for

him, but I think he can handle this new stressor in his life.

I don't think this is gonna push him off the deep end.

Mike: I just, I, I, I think it's more, I think it's a more stressful day than

I think you're making it out to be.

Are

Adam: you, did you just get broken up with again?

Mike: No question, no comment.

Adam: No question.

Mike: Well, no question, no, no qualm.

Yeah.

Adam: Yeah, um

Mike: Don't understand why girls don't like me.

Adam: We did get a couple of lines in this scene.

So again, we're trading in stereotypes here.

Uh, Marie, Robert's not gay, he's a policeman.

And then Frank is like, one of those village people was a policeman.

And, uh, Marie then brings up how she and Robert used to sing Somewhere

Over the Rainbow, which of course, sung by gay icon Judy Garland.

Um, Are you familiar with the the euphemism friend of Dorothy?

I've always found that very delightful.

Mike: No, that's hilarious.

I've not heard that before.

Adam: It's funny.

That is cool.

That's

Mike: great.

Adam: Robert in his yellow shirt looking like curious George's friend

comes in they sort of give him Marie is trying to support him, but um You know,

Frank is, is having like a meltdown.

He might just be experiencing PTSD.

Um, remembering the foxhole, but, uh, also there's the line where Marie

says they'll respect Robert's choice.

And Robert says, it's not my choice.

And then I liked Marie's response.

I know dear Frida says it's something you're born with.

Um, pretty funny.

Good line.

Decent line.

So Robert storms out.

And then the next scene, we see Robert's apartment, which is the first

time we've seen it in a little while.

Robert comes into his apartment, he turns on the boombox.

Uh, the song that's playing, anyone, anyone know that song?

I have no

Mike: idea.

Adam: It's Hello, Dolly.

It's the Carol Channing version.

Ah, I love Carol Channing.

So again, show tunes equals gay.

Um, but then Ray knocks on the door.

Um, And says that, you know, he's, it's him.

Uh, I cannot remember the setup of this.

I didn't want to write the whole thing down.

But Robert ends up saying, uh, Move your car, I don't want to be

late for my parade in the village.

Good line.

Good line, I guess.

Mike: I, okay, this conversation between Ray and Robert was very interesting to me.

I did like the delving deep of What was it?

Was it

Kenny Lopez?

Am I getting the name wrong?

Adam: Patrick Lopez.

Mike: Patrick Lopez.

Okay.

So Patrick Lopez and, and I liked Ray's, uh, comment of

like, yeah, he called me gay.

And I mean, he was gay, so he would know.

I, I, it felt very real.

I think that, uh.

It felt

Alex: very Ray.

Mike: Yeah.

It felt very Ray.

I thought that was, I don't know.

I liked that conversation.

They go into, you know, do you notice the guys at the gym?

Which of course you do.

I mean, there are hot guys at every gym.

So, I mean, every gym, every gym,

Adam: every gym.

Mike: Have you been?

Been to a gym without hot guys?

Adam: I've been alone in the gym before.

Yeah.

It's called my basement then.

You're the guy.

I'm the only guy there.

Mike: Yeah.

And then you're the hot guy.

Adam: Oh, is it relative?

Like Yeah.

There's always a guy at the gym who's hotter than at least

one other guy at the gym.

Therefore, correct.

There's a hot guy at the gym.

Mike: Correct.

Wow.

Yeah.

Adam: And then when you're alone, there's no one to compare to.

So you're beyond compare, meaning you're the hottest guy in the, in the room.

It's more of

Mike: you're, you're training, so you're making yourself hotter.

So you're hotter at the end of your workout than you were at

the beginning, therefore you're now the hottest guy at the gym.

Adam: Who to you is the hottest guy in the world?

Mike: Who to me is, uh, Ryan Reynolds.

I know that's a basic answer, but that's a good, that's yeah, that's a good answer.

Charisma goes far.

Adam: Alex?

I

Mike: do think he's secretly an asshole, but that's, that's my answer.

Adam: Hmm.

He, uh, owns, he, he runs my phone company, so.

Yeah?

Yeah, no complaints.

Alex: Hottest guy in the world?

Who does the Allstate commercials?

Who's that guy?

Are

Adam: you

Alex: talking about

Adam: Dennis Haysbert?

Alex: I think so.

With the really deep voice.

Which commercials?

Which commercials?

I like him.

If you're not talking

Adam: about Mayhem, that guy, then it'd be Dennis Haysbert.

You think that's the hottest guy in the world?

Hang on.

Mike: Interesting.

Is the guy you're thinking of the guy that like gets hit by cars all the time?

Or is it the No, that's Mayhem.

Alex: No, that's Mayhem.

So not Dennis Haysbert.

Dennis Haysbert, handsome black gentleman, older.

Jesus Christ, he's 70?

He does a lot of, like, Christian movies.

Mike: I mean,

Alex: look, just listen to him, man.

I mean, he's got

Mike: a great voice.

Alex: He's promising good hands.

Mike: Hey, who do you think is the hottest woman on the planet?

Flow from progressive.

Alex: I mean, that's not the worst answer

Mike: you can give.

She's attractive, I'm not saying she's not.

I'm just saying, not where my mind would have raced.

Adam: Okay, fuck, marry, kill, insurance mascots, you got

the Geico Gecko, you got Flow.

Guys,

Mike: fuck.

No kill.

Adam: We have a podcast.

This

Mike: is the content that people come for.

Adam: My answer is Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. Um, yeah, they have this conversation

for the hottest guy in the world.

Um, uh, they have this conversation.

You ever noticed guys, like if a guy is really cut at

the gym, you ever notice him?

Um, Ray admits he notices a little.

He gets very defensive.

He's like, every guy wonders if he's gay.

Then you see some breasts and you walk into a wall and there you go.

Um, has that ever happened to you?

Mike: I have walked into many walls.

Adam: Because of?

Mike: For a lot of reasons.

Breasts are probably one of them.

I don't know.

Adam: Alex?

Not specifically that I can remember, no.

Okay, me neither.

I've fallen down stairs.

Yeah, I was walking past a plastic surgery, um, clinic that was on

the second floor of a mall, and I slipped down the up escalator.

Alex: Yeah, you know, actually, I hit my, my knee on like the

corner of a supermarket when I passed some chicken breasts.

Mike: It gets you every time.

Oh

Alex: yeah.

Mike: And then we, then Frank comes in, they see the game, they make a

joke about, uh, Frank being, uh, gay with his, with his sergeant in Hawaii.

Yeah.

And then we have the hot clothes, where Ray is, gets super horny

by the USPS delivery guy.

And, that was, I, I don't know, I thought, I thought that was a very, a very fun way

Adam: to

Mike: put it.

Adam: Yeah, Ray's family's eating dinner, a mailman delivers a package,

kinda late for USPS in my opinion.

I feel like they're usually in and out of my place by like three.

Um, speaking of, um, in and out, this guy's a hunk.

And he makes Rey, we can see Rey visibly questioning his sexuality.

Um, and then the guy leaves.

And Rey, I think, channels some arousal into passionately kissing Debra.

I think maybe his excuse is, you know, Oh, I'm just checking, but But in reality,

Alex: it is, it is like, oh, let me get this sexual energy out before his,

before his looks fade from my mind.

Adam: Right.

So do we think, let's take a vote, secret ballot, do you think Ray is bisexual?

Or at least heteroflexible?

Alex: Yeah, I'd say like 85 15.

Nothing crazy.

I

Mike: think 15 percent is, is, that's a, that's a not insignificant number.

That's a pretty big number for, for someone that's mostly hetero, I think.

Adam: I'm gonna say 75 25.

Mike: Oh my god, you guys are going way too high.

I'm going 95 5.

Adam: Really?

You think?

Yeah.

I'm thinking if that's the type of guy that gets Ray going,

there's enough guys in the world.

That's like probably 25 percent of the No one who is that

Alex: straight would kiss his wife that passionately to deny his feelings.

Mike: But here's the thing, is he just attracted to that guy because

they were talking about being gay?

Like, that's a thing, like, recency bias in your head, you know?

Adam: It could be, or it's like, the veil is lifted, and now he

sees, you know, now he's noticing.

Maybe, maybe.

Leave

Alex: your, leave your votes in the comments.

Yeah, we'll do

Adam: a poll.

Do you think Ray is bisexual?

Or at the very least, heteroflexible.

Leave your percentages.

Yeah, we'll do it as comments instead.

And you can send us an email too.

We'll take email.

No salutation.

No sign off.

Just a straight number.

Mike: Just send the digits.

Adam: Yes, I think that's enough to cover.

I don't have anything else I don't think to call out.

Uh, did we mention the sergeant on the force going to Hawaii?

I like the line, I'll tell you one thing, I would have made an excellent gay man.

And even if you were gay, you'd still be my brother, my big homosexual brother.

Um, oh, also ginger ale.

They drink ginger ale in this episode.

They drink so much

Mike: ginger ale.

Adam: Alright, if there's nothing else that you want to talk about,

then let's go ahead and turn our attention to the classic Baron Mateur,

which is our scale from 1 to 10, on which you rate Ray's performance

as a husband, brother, son, father,

ally?

With 10 being the great dads of sitcom history, Danny Tanner,

Uncle Phil, Carl Winslow.

Let's throw, um, Mitchell and Cam from Modern Family.

Sure, they're

Mike: pretty good.

They're okay.

Adam: Uh, Mr. Drummond from Different Strokes, I think.

I have a theory that he was gay.

Um, are there any other notable ones?

Or at least tens?

I don't know.

Who's

Mike: the, who's the teacher from Boy Meets World?

Adam: Mr. Feeney, is he a dad?

Mike: Oh, he's not.

Well, he's a father figure.

Adam: Alright, I'll take it.

I'll make him a nine.

With nine being Mr. Feeney, ten being all those guys, and one being

the bad men of television history.

You're Don Draper's, you're Walter White's, those sorts of guys

who actively harm their family.

Alex.

Where's Ray coming in for you on this episode?

Alex: By today's standards, I think I'd judge him a little harsher, but

considering that this was early 2000s and that Robert is not actually gay

and he knows this, it's just, uh, you know, you know, I think he did okay.

Um, he should know better by now to bring anything up to his parents.

Cause like, if he just like, like, you know, it's like not great for Ray.

Where, like, him doing nothing would have led to a much better outcome.

Mike: Um,

Alex: him taking action is just, just made everything awful.

Um, and led to a whole scenario that didn't really need to happen.

Um, made Robert, you know, made it uncomfortable for Robert.

But it also did end in him, his dad, and Robert watching the game and just

having a good time, which is nice.

Um,

I don't know.

Ray, Ray, like, aside from that blunder, I think he did pretty good.

I'm gonna give him a five and a half.

Adam: Alright.

Mike: Mike?

Going higher than that, I'm gonna go give him a six seven.

I think he did a really good job.

I think he, uh, you know, I think outside of the first, first

thing, I think he supported his theoretically gay brother pretty well.

Um, I mean, yeah, he shouldn't talk to his parents, but what are you

gonna do, not talk to your parents?

Ray's not going to do that.

That's a deeper character flaw.

Can't hold that against him.

I think 6.

7 is still pretty low, but I'm gonna stick with it anyway.

6. 7.

Adam: Okay, and you mean 6.

7, right?

You don't have 67?

Correct.

Okay.

I, yeah, I think, yes, this didn't need to be an issue.

Shouldn't have brought it up to Frank and Marie, especially before,

not before talking to Robert.

Um, no need to really get involved in, in this.

Um, but I don't think he did anything, I don't think he was, uh, overly

dismissive of Deborah talking about it.

I mean, he was dismissive of Deborah.

Don't get me wrong.

Um, but I think he was okay.

As far as we've seen him as a son, you know, he introduces this chaos, but if

you look at it from Marie's perspective, he is enlightening, you know, something

that would be concerning about.

Um, something concerning his brother, Marie's son, uh, Marie

seems mostly supportive of it, I think that's, you know, good.

Um, I think Frank would argue that he was a bad son in this episode,

but I think Frank ultimately came around to as a brother, and that's

the sort of core of this episode.

You know, he was willing to have the conversation, he was supportive in

theory, my big homosexual brother.

Um, I think, He did okay for the time.

I don't think he made any he didn't make any seriously homophobic comments

he You know clearly was a little uncomfortable with the topic and was

defensive about having it turned back on him so There's something there,

but it's you know, what can we expect from from somebody at that time?

I feel like six point Five is probably right.

I do want to give him credit for The conversation in robert's apartment.

I think that was That showed that he really cares about his brother

and he'll love and support him no matter what What do we got mike 6.

5

Mike: 5.

5 6. 7 that would bring us out to be 6.

2 Okay.

Adam: Sounds right to me.

So that's that then.

That is, uh, where Ray's coming in this week.

Tune in next week to see where Ray comes in on season 4 episode 13.

Huzzah!

Uh, which I don't know what that's called yet, but we will cover it in

gruesome detail like we always do.

Now, before we say goodbye with our classic sign off, you know, we like

to wrap up every episode with, uh, Something to take with you into the week.

Some, uh, warm, uh, beautiful thought.

Uh, you know, it could be a poem, it could be a spontaneous song if

you're so moved to music, but I want to give a chance for my co host.

It's to, you know, maybe share something with you that might

brighten your day, something that might restore your faith in humanity.

And Alex, I know that we've, you know, we haven't used yours in a while.

Let's just, we'll let Mike go first and just think about it.

You know, I don't want to, I don't, I want to give you time to like, maybe

make some notes or something just so that you can, you know, really have them.

Remember like trying to appeal to everyone.

Something that you're too kind.

Appreciate.

Yeah.

Okay.

So Mike, what, what would you like the listener to take into this week?

Mike: Well, you know, I actually, I had a great week.

I had a really, really nice week.

I was, uh, up in my parents attic and I was digging through,

uh, some, some old memories.

I actually found my grandmother's old cookbook and I started flipping through it

and you know, I, I never really processed it, but like, or I shouldn't say that.

I, I never really thought about it, but I did find her old.

Banana bread recipe, and I was, I, it was one of those things where every

day we'd come home from school, we'd go to my grandma's house, we'd have some

banana bread, and we were never able to, I've never had banana bread like

it since she, since she passed on, it was, it was, it was great, so I tried

to, I tried it out, and you know, it's my first time cooking banana bread, and

it wasn't great, but she did leave me a note that I'd really like to read, Wow.

She said,

Adam: incredible.

Mike: She said, Mike A. She, she was, she was so formal.

We had, we had a few mics in, in, in the family.

It was, it was great.

Um, my darling boy, this is for you for all of those hard

times for all of your hard work.

I hope that you remember this recipe and you think of me.

And also of the Baronesonus, where

for a one time payment of anything that you would like, you get lifetime

access to all of the Barone Boys material, uh, that they, that they

post once an extra episode a month.

Uh, and you have access to all the ones from before, please sign up

at the link in the description.

And it just, it brought tears to my eyes.

It really did.

Yeah.

Adam: That's great.

I, and she was ahead of her time.

I mean, the pitch is really clunky in, in that note.

But I think she gets across the point.

She

Mike: was still figuring out the internet, you know.

Yeah.

It was weird.

Chat

Adam: rooms, et cetera.

AOL.

She had mail.

So, wow, that's really amazing.

Okay, Alex, now it's your turn, like, you heard what Mike did, like, maybe something

inspiring or sweet like that, you know, something to really inspire the listener.

What do you got?

Alex: I'd like to offer a quote by the wonderful George Eliot.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

Mike: Is that it?

Alex: Well, yeah, it's simple, it's elegant, it's peaceful, it's inspiring.

Adam: So

Mike: Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Thanks for sharing.

Adam: I think, I think we'll go with mics this week and then next week, like

really next week, I think Just really try to hone in on these universal truths.

I'll get it

Mike: I'm not trying to be a jerk here Alex, but it feels like you're

really just You're trying hard, you're just missing the mark, man.

Adam: I just Got it.

And I know that, like, everyone's experience is different, different

things speak for different people, but like, just, I don't know, go

on Pinterest for a while, look at, you know, like, Leaves and stuff.

Mike: Have you considered Live, Laugh, Love the Baroness Zonas?

Adam: Let me mail you some wood blocks with, like, inspiring phrases on it.

Like, live, laugh, love, like, in this house, we believe, like, stuff like that.

And then I also have one that's postfund.

org slash donate.

And that one I think is really beautiful.

It's in beautiful script.

It does sort of, it's sort of off center.

I think it was, like, made by children in a sweatshop somewhere.

But it's, it's beautiful.

And then just, like, let that inspire you.

Alright.

So that's it for us, great quote, Mike, and you know I'll cut around that.

Great, great, great thought, Mike, that was beautiful.

So that's it for us, we'll see you next time here on the Barone Zone, I

guess there's only one last thing to say, which is our classic sign off,

everybody loves Raymond, and we love

Alex: you.